Part 10

Using the twin guns of swordplay and steady retreating, Drake blastes his worthless foes into submission! At least on of them is dead which as we all know (from our dealings with conjoined twins) is a good start

Enough manly melee, time to make like this snake worships the wrong god and stone him to death

For a pile of goo this thing is surprisingly damaging not only to my gag reflex but also my bones

In the cosmic sense I'm worse for him than he is for me

This guy looks like a real bruiser, a real knock-down, drag-out fisticuffs champion world-class scrapper who can hold his own and maybe take me down a peg or two. Best to launch a rock at him for the minimal damage it will do and prepare for what may well be my toughest battle so far!

Or maybe he'll curl up like a baby hedgehog and beg for his life after a single rock to the face. Maybe this is why they call me the "Texas Can't Hold-em"

This bit will be done Memento style. By Thera's orifice I'm in a hole! How did I get here? Luckily there's a needlessly elaborate ladder.

This is the top of the ladder, but that's not where I went down. Going on here what the shit is?

A fancier, hgher-techer switch on the wall. Who in their mind wouldn't lick on this switch and do whatever it does?

There's the hole I originally fell in. This time, I won't fall in and will instead not fall in, thus staying out of the hole!

I've thought about this for some time and have come to the conclusion that absolutely the ONLY thing that could possibly make sewer levels more exciting is scouring sewer levels for cylinders. High excitement ahead, better take your pants off now to avoid soilage

I'm not here to debate you on the finer points of squatting versus genuine ownership of the lands of sqaures in question, I'm here to find a bitch and then hopefully fuck her. If she's still alive. If not then this might be an even bigger waste of time than The New World

I don't recall leaving...I just stepped back a square, over the invisible barrier that you are unable to cross for some reason (either religious, psychological or laziness related, I'm not too sure). And with that they turn and run leaving me cranky and a little sore

Solid Snake Drake mode. That clown doesn't even know I'm here. I am like stealth hero #1

They're on to me! Lucky for me these sharga seem far more likely to talk instead of fighting. Highly inefficient when it comes to their desired outcome with regards to me (and the slaying of me thereof) but I'm not going to point that out

Dialogue is breaking down, things are getting tense, pretty soon someone's gonna snap

Or flee. Both good options. Unfortunately for them my blad has gained a taste for sharga blood, and I have gained an affinity for the tingly in the pants sensation I get when searching their corpses for loot

Now for the loot search. For purely academic reasons, of course

The one thing I hate more than being interrupted while menacing a dog with a sword, it's being interrupted when searching an enemy's corpse in intricate detail. You have made yourself a powerful enemy today my...enemy

Having clubbed his bones, it's time to read the sign those little bastards threw their little lives away protecting. Excitement is mounting, critical levels of anticipation almost reached, sewers imminent

All I have to do to get to the sewers is get through you? By the shadowy metal ass of Khull-khum, I'm going to fucking brain you

On the other hand, I guess I could find it in my heart to four-give you guys and let you go. Fighting you guys is something I'm not likely to four-get! There's two times two many of you is what I'm getting at here, and my corpse stinks up this whole fucking level